now i know why i became what i already was.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
