i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
