You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
we made out on top of his cat.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
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