Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
