Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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