i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
