I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
