Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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