Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
