whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
