i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Randomize
