What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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