is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
