Buhtt sex?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
third nipple confirmed
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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