i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
