Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
