If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
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