Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
