The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
