put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
