covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
