that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
