Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
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