I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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