I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
