I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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