the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
