And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
