you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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