Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
