he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
organizing the empties. That sober.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
