i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
