Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
