Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
