he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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