I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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