im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
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