Swine flu. Run for my life!
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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