Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Randomize
