Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
