don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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