First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
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