I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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