THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
