see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
