You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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