I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
