Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
