I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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