it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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