If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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