just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
